From trauma to addiction

Photo: Larisa Koshkina, CC BY-SA 4.0. No edits by me.

Hello all. I've been thinking about trauma and addiction, and how easy it is to look at somebody drinking or using and decide we know their whole story. We see what's happening now. We don't always know what came before it.

I know what addiction has done in my own life. I also know that getting better took help, honesty and time. I didn't suddenly become a different person because I stopped drinking. I had to learn how to live differently, and I'm still learning.

When I say from trauma to addiction, I don't mean that everybody who has been through trauma becomes addicted. They don't. Trauma can increase the risk, but it isn't a prediction of somebody's future. People arrive at addiction through different experiences, and I think we need to remember that before deciding we have the answer for everyone.

For some people, drinking or using can become a way of trying to cope with distress. A bit of relief, a quieter head, a break from something they don't know how to deal with. That doesn't make alcohol or drugs a safe answer. It helps explain why an unsafe answer might still feel appealing to somebody who is struggling.

I've thought a lot about that word, relief. Wanting to feel better is something most of us can understand. The difficulty is what we turn to, and what happens when it starts taking over. Addiction can bring more harm, more distress and more problems to an already difficult life.

I don't want to use trauma as an excuse for hurting other people. Partners, family and friends can be hurt badly too, and their feelings matter. Understanding what may be behind somebody's behaviour still leaves room for responsibility, boundaries and making things right where we can.

But I do want us to ask better questions. What has this person been carrying? What support have they had? What are they frightened of saying out loud? We might not get an answer straight away, and nobody owes us every private detail of their life. We can still treat them with some care.

The help I was given freely matters to me. It is part of why I want to give something back. I don't think people should have to explain their pain perfectly before somebody is willing to listen.

In recovery, I value the ordinary things. Being honest about how I'm doing. Having some structure. Asking for help when I need it. Finding ways to pause before reacting. Those are things I can speak about from my own life, rather than pretending I know how everybody else should recover.

Some people need help with trauma as well as addiction. That is something to work through with appropriate professional support, at a pace that feels safe. I would never want somebody to think they have to dig through painful memories on their own to prove they are serious about getting better.

This is part of what sits behind Quiet Strength Recovery, and Quiet Sisters Recovery for partners, friends and family. They are free guides built from lived experience. I hope they can offer a place to reflect, alongside the other help somebody may need.

I'm grateful that people gave me a chance. If you are struggling today, I hope you get that chance too. Your life is worth helping, even while things are difficult.

Thank you for reading. Chris

These are my reflections from recovery. The guides are educational peer resources, not treatment or a substitute for professional care.

Further reading: NIDA: Trauma and Stress; NIMH: Substance use and mental health.

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